i just killed time

gunsforhobos

andito ko sa office at walang magawa ang jologs

wahahahah

minsan masarap paliparin ung oras parang paper plane lang nyi!

un lang! 

in the stillness of day

i was able to stop and think

"how im very afraid"

i want everything to be perfect..

the way the flowers grow in front of the

beautiful sunset

the way the mountain stands still

and fight every single thing that comes in their way

im thinkng of going to bed, sleep

and dream about you right now

but i might not wake up anymore..

because what keeps me going

from everydays fallouts

is the thought that im going to see you tomorrow 

 im afraid of losing you

really im scared

having you by my side is like having

a glimpse of what heaven looks like

and i dont want that feeling to end

i need you

like the angels need their wings

like the river needs the water

like the sun needs the sky

like the flower needs the rain

every single thing i need is in you

the fact that i see you smile each day

and sometimes

me waking up and you're beside me

driving my car while im holding your hand

you leaning on my shoulder

us talking about nothing

me kissing you

and when you kissing me back

i know that i couldnt ask for more

because i have my dream with me

i have you..

gunsforhobos

my friend vicky just died were not really close but she has the most unique way of making me feel that i exist! she never fails to say hi when she sees me.. a very perky lady.we never really had a conversation or even a simple chat..i guess its too late for that now.. its  sad to know that shes really gone ..

i've always wondered how it feels to know that any minute you're going to die. that you're already counting the last few seconds of your time. do you really have the time to take flash backs? or maybe you're just gonna be too busy trying to fight for your survival for you not to end up flashing back?

do you really get to see a light? i mean if you're now holding to the last thread, would you really see that streak of light? the ones that crosses your path? or maybe God tries to offer you a bargain..

God gives you a chance to have a glimpse of waht heaven really looks like.. and then from that deal you get to decide.. the problem is from that moment  you to took the bargain you never get to really say goodbye to those people around you..

and that would hurt them big time

time will come i know i would get my chance.the line is moving.. its about picking the right number. one day vicky i'll see you..and maybe this time we'll get to chat.

gunsforhobos

star light star bright first star i see tonight....

the drop lines of the kids today...

wishes are used when people are desperate

prayers on the other hand are for people who wants to connect desperation with holyness

waiting are for people who really dont care

but most of the time those people who really dont care get what they want..

and those who wish DONT

FAIR?

maybe because those who really dont care, would not care if they get their wish or not..

get it?

FAIR?

if you care about something so much, why is it that it always falls down that you'll end up in a situation that no matter how much you critically decide on it: BAMMM it's gone..

FAIR?

if prayer wants us to wait, does it mean it doesnt want us to care?

FAIR?

if being fair means having equal amount of what others have and having to experience what other people have experienced ?

then it would be boring

scientifically it defeats the whole purpose of what we call HUMAN COMPETITION

wait....

what is the purpose of the competition?

to get more things than the other one?

glory?

pride?

morrie said "so what's wrong with being number 2"

would they become less of a person?

i guess in life those who know how to wait

are the people who doesnt care about being number 1

and comparing what they have with what others have

you can see clearly the difference

maybe because what's infront of them is enough to make them smile...

they dont care if its brandnew or hand me downs

they see both things the same...

that's what prayer wants us to learn

learn how to appreciate things

how to smile no matter what the situation may be..

all in all it's all about learning how to be number two

ive been staring at the monitor for 5 minutes now

and still there are no words coming out

from my melted brain

im exhausted from all the demands that life

is putting on my list

every second another demand comes up

im pretty much booked out this week

next batch will be entertained on my next life time..

all the letters here on my lap

seems like yesterdays' tears

it was torn by time

my fist was crunched up with every piece of what i am made of

as i slowly try to lift my soul

my conscience ate everything up

my strength

my pride

YOU..

gently patching up my deep wounds

that past has caused me

i was tryin to trace the path of contentment

just  to suffice me

with the hunger that my inner being  has been craving to have

like what gretel did i was leaving a mark on every pit stop i took

so when its time to look back

i can trace it back

but time was so cruel that

He had to sweep the marks away

now im lost again

tormented with what i am facing

but its too early to make a move

and too late to back out

regrets? it was never written on my dictionary

should it be there?

my shifted,radiant,sacrosanct soul

would probably suffocate

as i cheerfully recall every

eternal sunshine of MY spotless
mind went through..